Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Happy New Year!

 A New Year! This morning instantly after breakfast I ate some chocolate cake; I immediately felt better. I had made no resolutions to eat healthier or to write more or to be a runner this year, but I think I was worried that a few expectations were lurking in my subconscious so I decided to kill them immediately. Sabotage! That’s the spirit!

I’m sure at some point this year I’ll try to eat more veggies and attempt to increase my cardio, but not because it’s a resolution, more likely because it’s responsible, and in spite of myself I do try to lean that way.  I’ve always had a bit of trouble with resolutions anyhow. Every year, starting in 2008, I’ve written down 108 ‘resolutions’ for that year.  In 2009 I wrote 109… etc. I normally complete about 30-46 per year. When chatting with my sister today I mentioned all my past ‘resolutions’. She asked me what specifically all my resolutions were. I started listing those I remembered, “oh you know, buy bathing suits for the boys, make lasagna, find a groomer for our dog, move, buy a Poinsettia for Christmas, finish the puzzle, replace the light bulb in the lamp next to my bed….”

We were laughing to the point of tears when she pointed out that all of my “resolutions” for about five years -  was actually an incredibly long to-do list. Over 500 things to do. Including ‘rollover items’ from previous years. ‘Take a family photo, send a Christmas card, find Aunt Helen’s address, organize my pantry, get up my nerve to clean behind the fridge…’. Instead of writing down one real resolution, I instead wrote hundreds of mediocre tasks to complete. Ah!- Attention to detail, never my strong suit, so it’s not quite surprising that I missed the point of resolutions entirely.  So this year I just took a break. I don’t really need a to-do list. I know what there is to do. And it may or may not happen. Instead, this year I’m going to eat cake and appreciate all that has been done. The Lord has done great things for us and we are glad! Psalm 126.

I do not need a ball dropping to remind me of the passage of time. Sweet middle child is as tall as my hip. And oldest boy Joey can write his name forward and backwards. Elena runs more than walks and just the sunlight through my kitchen window reminds me that I have a house with a kitchen window and all of this was not true one year ago. Great things have been done!

Today my four year old played Legos all day. The free spirit and baby girl ran all over the house chasing each other with clothes hangers. Everyone played independently and happily while Husband Joe researched for hours about what trees we should order to plant in our yard this spring.  These are great things!
And how do I write about great things when this year has been filled with so much darkness for so many people?  When the heartbreak in this broken world is so present? And I have been stuck wondering if mourning for tragedies should or could completely overwhelm celebrating love.

 But I continue to think that the greatest opposite to evil is Love. The opposite of the sin in this world is a God not of this world. To love like Jesus Christ. And to recognize that love wherever it is found. To name it. To do it. To remember it. I do not have a to-do list this year. Although I’m sure there will be things to do. I do have to feed my children dinner. 
Mostly, I have to, want to, remember all that has been done. That constantly, God who is Love, and out of His mercy- is making all things new. This is a great thing. This is good news!

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